The Eastie Threat

Book Five in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters

She’s settling into the throne. But how can she wage war with a military that only knows how to parade?

Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III’s senses are a tad dented. Suffering from a blurry eye and a buzzing in her ear from her recent use of magic, the freshly ascended monarch is still struggling to figure out how best to reign. So when her eastern enemies seize part of her territory, the overwhelmed royal is distraught to discover that, after decades of peace, her army doesn’t know how to fight.

With invaders having annexed the land by moving the wall between realms, Queen Eloise sets about recruiting experienced champions to whip her soldiers into shape. But with funds tight and her council of advisors losing faith, the beleaguered ruler fears the only solution may be to parlay with the conquerors.

Can Queen Eloise navigate a political nightmare to preserve the queendom?

The Eastie Threat is the dastardly droll fifth book in The Western Lands and All That Really Matters humorous fantasy series. If you like characters seriously out of their depth, bizarre magic, and perfectly pointed prose, then you’ll love Andrew Einspruch’s regally rich caper.



As usual I am taken right in to this world and hang on every word and every new book to find out what the loveable characters are up against next. Mix a cool story with Andrew’s wit and humor and there’s not any better place (or book) for me!

— Glenda Walters, Amazon Review


I am so grateful to have received this book from the author Andrew Einspruch. Honestly, the excitement to read this book ensured that I finish within few days! I think this probably gives away how I felt about the book, but please dive in to read more!!

— Kalpanaashri, Goodreads Review



The kinds of books that amaze me most are the kinds that are about nothing.

If I had to describe this book to you, it would be “the time Queen Eloise Hydra Gumball III got ready to face the Eastie Queen.” How can one possibly fill 400 pages with a story like that? The actual speaking to the Queen is in the final few chapters of the book. But instead of sending us on a slog through nothing, Einspruch excels at giving every moment the proper weight, charm, and jokes. I never felt like a single moment was wasted—Einspruch spent time introducing new characters, growing the world, and making an impact on Eloise’s character and the fate of her kingdom.

I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but I really mean it every time when I say that I cannot wait for the next book. Einspruch has set up a number of conflicts and ideas that I have to see conclude, and hopefully soon!

— Hollyann, Goodreads Review


Andrew Einspruch’s fifth book in The Western Lands and All that Really Matters pre-release became available to reviewers I couldn’t wait to read it. I’ve loved the first four books and the intrinsic way he embeds subtle humor throughout the storyline. The Eastie Threat delivers another action-packed fantasy plot with beloved anthropomorphic characters fans have come to know well.

— Donna, Goodreads Review


Sometimes it’s the one we trust the most

All is not well in the world for Queen Eloise Gumball lll. I stayed up way into the night every night reading this book. A wonderful story of persistence, faith and trust. Fantastic world building! I can’t wait to read what happens next!

— Angel Ballard